Morlocks Rule!

For the last several millennia our species has struggled its way to the top of the food chain. Beginning with a timid and fragile australopithecine named Lucy cowering in the Olduvai, we have advanced all the way to the apex of evolution. We are the zenith of creation. We have traveled to the moon and sent our mechanical minions to the far reaches of the cosmos. And here, from our perch on the penultimate step of the evolutionary ladder, we gaze down at our domain. From here we may kill, eat, domesticate, clothe, and adorn ourselves with any other living thing on the planet we choose.
Some argue that there are other intelligent species sharing our world. Bullshit. Has a chimp ever built a pyramid? Can a cat read a John McDonald novel? Dolphins can’t even figure out how to stay out of the damn tuna nets.
So, here we sit, the end result of evolutionary history. Yet, some humans , vegetarians, have decided to remove themselves from this exalted position. They refuse to consume their fellow terrestrials, in order that they might be more fair to, as well as being seen by others as being more compassionate to, all the fuzzy little critters. All fine and good, I want no unnessecary pain or discomfort to come to any other creature. Well cared for animals taste better and are more nutritious. Also, I am entirely in favor of environmental conservation. Large tracts of uncontaminated wilderness means more yummy animals to hunt down and kill. Besides, who knows what yummy little critters might be lost if we don’t thoroughly glean the rain forest before cutting it down for pulp. If you don’t believe in cutting timber, go a week without using paper. Recycling doesn’t count because you gotta cut it and use it before you can recycle it.
These vegetarians give no heed to the words of Benjamin Franklin "If you make yourselves sheep, the wolves will eat you." H. G. Wells covered this in "The Time Machine" where at the end of our evolution we divided into the separate species of Eloi & Morlocks. The Eloi were vegetarians and, well, we’ve all read the book. So, my proposal is that we designate the vegetarians, who have voluntarily removed themselves from the top of the food chain, as an alternative food source. It could change the whole meaning of "Veggie Burger". Although I’ve never eaten vegetarian I understand that they must be tender because they bruise so easily. Also, the bad smell can be removed by par boiling in a couple of changes of water much as one would treat a squirrel. The economies of some rural states could be improved by the promotion of hunting of herds of free range vegetarians. Excess vegetables no longer consumed by vegetarians, as well as other meat products displaced in the market place by vegetarian meat, could be sold cheaply to other less food rich countries. This could very well improve the economy as well as the political situation of the whole world. Not to mention the soft hairless leather goods that could be created from the skins and the benefits to medicine from the huge influx of donor organs. Why settle for a pig heart when you could have a vegetarian heart?
I understand that some my find suggestions distasteful. Some, especially vegetarians, may even be offended. If so, please be aware that my tongue is quite firmly in my cheek (and not only to pick out a stray fragment of roast beef) . So, get over it. If you can’t, then feel free to drop by the house one evening for dinner.