Monday, July 18, 2005

Oh god

I was recently in a liquor store, and on the TV behind the counter was the image of a large commercial building and the sign thereon said in 3’ red letters "AMERICAN ATHEISTS". It didn’t really strike me until I got out to the car. American Atheists??? Regardless of my own religious beliefs (or lack there of) I find it difficult to believe that people would get together to purposefully not believe in something. Even your basic, fringe, nutjob groups actually believe in something, ie: The First Church of Elvis, MUFON, The Ku Klux Klan, or the ACLU. I can at least see an agenda. But, atheists? I can only imagine how one of their meetings?, services?, whatever must go:
Atheist 1, "Any old business?."
Atheist 2, "Seems at the last meeting we decided we don’t believe in God."
Atheist 1, "Is everyone in agreement with the old business?"
Bob The Atheist, "Yeah, me, and Gomer the Atheist think we ought to put a ‘really’ in there between the ‘we’ and the ‘don’t’."
Gomer The Atheist, "No, Bob, we wanted two ‘reallys’ in there."
Bob The Atheist, "Yeah, that’s right, two ‘reallys’."
Atheist 2, "We might want to leave the old business ‘as read’, and handle all the ‘reallys’ under new business, ‘cause I’m writing with a pen, and I don’t want to scratch anything out."
Gomer The Atheist, "Yeah, sure, that’ll be fine. Just so the ‘really’s’ get in there."
Atheist 1, "Alrighty then, any new business?"
Atheist 2, "Yeah, apparently, Bob, and Gomer want to add a couple of ‘reallys’ between the ‘we’ and the ‘don’t’ in the statement agreed upon in the last meeting."
Atheist 1, "Okay. As per the request... Wait, did anyone make a motion?"
Bob The Atheist, "Yeah, I make a motion to put a couple of ‘reallys’ in that statement."
Gomer The Atheist, "Second."
Atheist 1, "We will now put the matter of the ‘really’s to a vote. All in favor?"
A chorus of, "Ayes!"
Atheist 1, "Opposed?"
Silence.
Atheist 1, "So, now, we decided we really, really, don’t believe in God."
Bob The Atheist, "Sounds good to me. How about you Gomer?"
Gomer The Atheist, "Yep."
Atheist 1, "Motion to adjourn?"
Gomer The Atheist, "Yeah, I’ll motion to adjourn."
Atheist 2, "Second."
Atheist 1, "Alright, everybody there’s beer, pornos in the rec’ hall."

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