POOT

Believe it or not, Adolf Hitler was terrified of becoming flatulent. His personal physician actually gave him daily injections to prevent it.
But, let’s face it. Every once in a while we’re all gonna let one rip.
And, they’re funny.
Face it we’ve all laughed at fart jokes or people farting at inappropriate times.
I remember once back when I was in Catholic School a nun farted in the middle of a math test. There we were, two dozen fourth graders, concentrating on multiplication, and square roots, and then . . . . "POOT". There it was. I don’t know if anyone smelt it, but there was no doubt who dealt it. At first there was a stunned, silent awe. Then, somewhere in the back of the classroom, a snicker. That’s all it took. The class broke down into a bedlam of laughter, and sympathetic farts, either real, forced, or simulated.
I have come up with two inventions to deal with problematic pooting.
The first is intended for venues where excessive farting might be expected (i.e.: chili cook-offs, Mexican restaurants, or Tandy’s house). It consists of seat cushions made out of that odor absorbing activated charcoal foam that they make "odor eater" insoles out of.
The other invention is intended for those who are afflicted with life threatening flatulence (The DNC, Ted Kennedy, and the ACLU come to mind.). It consists of a hollow butt plug that channels noxious emissions through a crescent shaped activated charcoal filter that is nestled comfortably between the ass cheeks.